12 November 2011. A day that makes us looks back at Sunanda bhabhi’s life and the journey she has made. Amazing how time goes by!
This day makes us walk down memory lane. In December 1983, when SP had come to Indore to meet Bhavana, he got to know what bhabhi is all about. Although the meet was short, SP realized that the way bhabhi shadowed Bhavana, how much love and affection she carried for her. She was very determined to know if Bhavana -her sister in law- was getting a right spouse. We hope she has not been disappointed by our choices!
How life quickly unfolds. Sunanda bhabhi has shown what a remarkable woman she is –courage, determination and resilience personified. A pillar of strength, she raised her kids with exemplary patience, saw them through the most tumultuous years of their life- the teen age, coped with the demanding and challenging years of their adolescence. She supported them all along, and stood by them when they needed her most. Although she never went to the college, she knew the importance of education. And so, she ensured that they went to the best schools, were admitted to the best colleges and got quality education that would help them become true professionals.
What strikes us most about Sunanda bhabhi is the ease with which she can do multiple tasks with such a remarkable efficiency. She is very quick- and indeed loathes sloppiness and slowness in life- and is able to plan, execute and finish diverse tasks with an efficiency that would put a well-trained MBA to shame. She did so many things which we never thought possible. She refused to feel intimidated by the turn of events, and supported solidly by family and friends, kept on navigating life’s currents with extraordinary skills. In the process, she added several dimensions to her life- she tried new things and learnt new skills.
She stepped out of the safety zones and refused to feel afraid of a failure. She stayed home to raise Tushar and Tulika but also used her home used her home as the workplace- a locus for a variety of business related activities. We were amazed as we monitored her metamorphosis- from an innocent, simple, fun loving village-based woman into an elegant and indomitable entrepreneur. I kept on wondering for years how she could transform herself into the new role so effortlessly. She quickly learnt the ABC of business- how to sense customer’s needs, negotiate with big shops, maintain an inventory, convince the customers, and make some decent money. And she strove very hard to achieve these objectives.
Sunanda bhabhi knows what friends in life are all about. She carefully nurtured and cultivated her friendship in Indore, sharing her extended families’ joys and sorrows and almost became a part of so many families in Indore. She began to realize how important these relationships are and how much supportive the friends indeed could be. She created a trusted group of families, people who could inspire, motivate, encourage and guide her. She has acquired friendship of wonderful families with whom she can relate- we think that this is an extraordinary achievement.
No less important is the love and respect that Sunanda bhabhi receives from all family members. To Tai and Bhau, she is a doting daughter-in-law: in fact they always treated her as though she were her daughter. Vinay and Sarla are known to enjoy a deep understanding and a warm relationship with her- the relationships that only exist in a well-knit joint family. Vishwas was barely in his mid-teens when bhabhi arrived in Balwadi, and both Vishwas and Sarita have learnt from her how to accept, receive and respect, and how much it means to dare, to risk, to struggle , and to feel. And she is a favorite chachi to the Indore kids- admittedly none of them are kids now- with whom they can share their secret joy, confide their deepest and darkest longings, and get a broad shoulder to cry on.
We had a great opportunity to observe Sunanda bhabhi from close angles this July. The occasion was Ashwini’s marriage and Bhavana was eager to design perfect wedding celebrations. During one of her visits to Indore, she asked Sunanda bhabhi if she could spend some time with her for helping her with the seemingly inexhaustible tasks a wedding is associated with. Sunanda bhabhi quickly sensed Bhavana’s sense of unease and did not even blink an eyelid to say yes. She happily and promptly arrived in Sevagram about ten days before the wedding date, and took the charge. She led the team entrusted with accomplishing the tasks. She listed all tasks, made deadlines, prepared timelines and executed the tasks the way a professional event manager would do. She knew precisely well how many guests we should expect, where should we put them, how should we treat them, how should we handle the idiosyncrasies of guests, and what would go in breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
Her feet danced tirelessly on the floors of our home and her hands casted a magic spell in our kitchen. She made difficult tasks look simple, unburdened our aching shoulders and backs and generated happy vibrations and exuberance in the wedding home. Supported by the entire Balwadi clan, and accompanied with the four families who specially flew from Indore to be with us on this occasion, she showed everyone that she was a reservoir of incessant energy, innovative ideas and action plans. We, as was our family and friends, were very impressed with her sagacity, her wit and her capacity to organize. Bhavana and I owe her our unsaid gratitude – wasn’t it someone who said, “The best feelings in life are best left unsaid”.
Congratulations, Sunanda bhabhi- you are entering fifty today. The kids- they are no more kids now- chose to surprise you by designing an event and presenting you with a book that promises to be a treasure of fond memories. We believe that it is a time for reflection rather than introspection, indeed a good moment to start looking forward. Treat yourself with respect and kindness. Enjoy the event and convert your fifty into a well-made hundred!
